We are all packed, standing in the driveway, and ready to go on our first mother-and-child "camping trip in my new white VW pop-top van.
My skeptical neighbor friend, Cathy and her 8-year-old son kept me doubtfully, while Cathy's 7 year old daughter in the face with both hands frills, and my (then) eight year old son shows the functions of vehicle, as to tell me in my new camping expert person voice. "Voila! Seats are beds, a sink, a hidden port-a-potty, aMini-fridge and a fold down dining table. All in! "
We sing along with Frank Sinatra's "Pocketful of Miracles", how to navigate the 405-Santa Monica-ring highway Interstate-10 through downtown Los Angeles.
"Tree-rou-Bles, more or less,
I bee-ah-thermo, I believe that if the sun does not shine.
But there is a pocket full of miracles
The world is bright and shiny apple that's mine, all mine.
I hear those sleigh bells ... Theres like snow and walk around,
I feel so good, it isChristmas every day! "
My son leans forward: "Mom, Tracey threw a single source, the screams Yellow Zonkers brand new white scarf better pull-offs .."
"Small deviation. Do not worry. We are ready for any eventuality Camper!" I leave in the late morning traffic from the financial district and county blocks Tuten taxi, until we found a gas station.
In a small sink I wash the quilt and accept a double handful of discarded belt by a supervisorthat says they have done to put bungee cords on the roof to dry. In the process, there are signs of braking and white fat on my forearm, face and thighs, do not rub off - a small price to pay for the reminder postcard.
Within hours, we left the bustle of the city behind and embrace the beauty and bounty of nature sleepy. We go up the winding two-lane mountain road in a 1950 "See the USA in a Chevrolet" commercial. Windows down, hair blowing, the smell blessedsweet yellow Scotch Broom hits our nose.
"Let's see where the road takes us fire, probably a great view." I twittered my way into a new adventure, campers, and show a steep dirt road. My friend is not so sure her daughter starts to cry. "It's all right, Tracy," his brother said: "This is what campers to Explore .."
Please do not throw back-up, Please Tracey, back and forth gently until the van is heavy precariously at the top of a peak at 45% angle on a single lane dirt road. UsStart slide backwards towards the edge of the cliff. I pull the emergency brake, jump and break the nails by placing rocks behind the tire. My son is the tailgate, and compares the twisted innards of the operating diagram of the LA-405-I-10 interchange is similar to me. Then, as Dr. Kildare, has quietly ordered wire smoke and recorded along with rewraps. The car starts but does not go forward. My friends in camp, and with a large smile and shakes his head a little, walkthe mountain, while I remain in the down direction and thumb.
Receives "It 'was stupid," my friend fixed it and slams the door. Soon we will go to camp empty. "What is bubonic?" Your daughter calls the warning signs painted white and orange.
"Oh, say some squirrels, umm. Unwell," I say weakly.
"We die, uncomfortable with the medieval disease, the skin black and white with pus-y red with big shots in half again, and the same agonyDay, "says Scott fingers like an open mouth, raised by his sister, who screams and cries bite.
"I'm going to check with the rangers." We stop for a big guy, Andy Taylor of Mayberry, United States of America who smiles stretched "A bear is already there in them woods is the best way to keep the youngins in the vicinity."
Covered that night, after a row boat rentals, canoes around the lake loses, we cook steaks on the grill, which was in the twilight, had not noticed until thick hair with unidentifiable. Dishes done, and wetClothes hanging on a line extending from the roof of the cab of a tree, we set-up pop-top make-up the beds and call our children back in at least one "branch diameter ¼ rammed his skin and half a leg.
"Get in Get in!"
I can not do the pop-top down and we take turns on two tires squealing, to the emergency room because we run on the opposite side of the lake. The deck is to solve and hunt with us as a ghost with a black fan belt around his neck. The lineDress waves from the opposite side. At the hospital, they take my son in front of a man who had a car fall on his chest. A motorcycle cop I finally passed, and provides a ticket for the flight quilts and clothes, than to ride to the sublime pop-top that has been shorn of some branches. "And you knocked over a mailbox," he added rips the ticket and forks-it-over between the two fingers as a sign of disapproval.
To compensate for my son bites and vaccinations, we have a Hot Fudge SundaeOutdoor terrace in the city center. Tracy pushed back his folding chair collapses and slides as the terrace with her clinging to him on the side, and 6 'along the road. The ambulance arrives and you go to the emergency room and be greeted as usual.
Later we went to sleep in the trailer stuck in the deserted campsite when we heard a strange noise. "You forgot to attach the ice from a tree," I mutter. A bear paw through them, to eat our breakfast bacon and drinkPancake syrup. The horn does not work if your car is disabled and can not find the keys.
The interior of the camper is like a dorm Animal House and it smells of dirty socks.
Tracey in a disposable pan. The bear faces and cliffs of the van. "It can not come in," I assure the kids, and we bang pans together and make noise until they leave us. I find the key and aspirin for my head and let go of our equipment out of 2 clock in search of a hotelSpace.
It passes through six "No Vacancy" signs on the ground then a Rumpelstiltskin-hut, shines in her Day-Glo-orange neon sign, with what looks like the Hells Angles motorcycle, 8-parked.
"Pig". My son corrects me.
The other leaders in our lodging for the rest of the night, while cleaning the inside of the car. Both hands, I took the car door closed bump with my ass and half of my skirt in the door. I'm shooting for a while 'trying to free himself and the localIgnition key.
Unfortunately, the band of the shorts are stuck in the door. I can not scream and wake people up, the lights are out in our room. I leave dirty towels on the floor, and use her life rather slow, it can move down-I. When I get on my chest, arms raised above my head, I'm trapped in a crushed half squats locked behind him with my elbow at the side of my head in his belt.
"For the love of a merciful God!" I yelp.Exhausted, dirty and hungry after my steak is not consumed by the hair, the skirt, which is now a burqa held. Tears streaked her cheek fat to run. "When a man is to buy a break around here?"
After a few minutes the Camp Fire Girls joyful 'jinkle start walking "around my head like a hamster on a wheel, and the second or third step, and I'm singin in the middle':
"I will come to your house.
Friendly and warm in my uniform,
Scouts can be Nice.
Please buy yourCookies from me.
I am a girl scout.
I am a girl scout.
Camp Fire Girls
We're pretty. "
I feel a tug on the bond of the covenant, heard the sound of cutting with a knife, and I am free. When I get up there and move the rock over there is a 6'6 "man-size refrigerator drawers, with cumulus clouds of white hair, beard, mustache and eyebrows. He holds a knife open. I see myself, and then again him. He squints as skipper in Iceland Gilligan.
"Field of FireGirls, we're pretty, "she mimics in a falsetto." Good night, "he mutters, as the stems of the new 109 in the direction of the Hells Angels' Hogs in front of room
The next morning was sunny and beautiful. The Blue Jays were singing. We had fried crisp bacon and butter on a rock terrace at the Hotel Four Season in the branches of trees near the blue lake.
"This is life!" I nod, as the waiter is going to take our group photo. He looks through the lens, "The Count ofall three said: "The camp is Grrreat '!"